Welcoming New Hires: A Tale of Turnover and Connection

Remember "The Breakfast Club?" Our new hires are living it. But will they stay?

I’m sitting here with 40 people who have just been hired as new employees. I’m the Director of People for an automotive group* with 1,300 employees. We hold an event each month to welcome new hires, share highlights from our 100-year history, and introduce them to our company culture.

New employees are joining us from all business areas—sales, service, parts, support, and management—and various store locations—we have 24 dealerships. It’s thrilling to meet these new hires, full of hope, nerves, and anticipation, but my mind drifts to a somber question: “Who will leave?”

Who Will Leave?

Annual employee turnover is high in the automotive industry, about 35% in the United States. If the average rate holds, then 14 employees will leave in this group. I scan the room and wonder who they might be. Is there a way to spot them?

Marriage expert John Gottman said that by observing married couples, he could predict who was most likely in danger of divorce when he observed a particular emotion. Gottman found that contempt is the most destructive behavior in a relationship. If contempt is a danger sign of divorce, is there a danger sign for these new hires?

It’s hard to believe that any of these folks will leave. They’re poised, engaged, and smiling while listening to the presentation. Their phones are down, their eyes are up, and they’re leaning in. How could 14 of them leave?

Diversity of Backgrounds

These new hires are from all kinds of backgrounds. The day starts with them introducing themselves. They’ve worked a variety of jobs before joining our company:

• thespian

• bartender

• rodeo clown

• business coach

• cell phone salesperson

Some have already met if they work in the same store, but most have yet to. It’s a roomful of strangers. A group of strangers from diverse backgrounds coming together for a day assigned to them reminds me of a movie from my childhood, The Breakfast Club.

The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club is about five high school students who must spend a Saturday in detention for committing various individual violations. They come in practically as strangers, not friends.

They represent five archetypes:

• The brain: intellectual, analytical, nice

• The rebel: antagonistic, sarcastic, crass

• The athlete: strong, competitive, proud

• The outcast: peculiar, quiet, mysterious

• The popular kid: affluent, outgoing, attractive

Their life stories have varied, but now, they collide during this shared experience. They begin by resisting each other, becoming vulnerable, learning from each other, and ending the day feeling less alone. Thanks to detention, they come in as strangers and leave as friends.

Our Breakfast Club

This new hire event is like our breakfast club. (I hope our new hires don’t think of it as detention, but like detention, they were assigned to come here for the day.) Their life stories are varied, and I’m sure some have played (and maybe still play) the brain, the athlete, the rebel, the outcast, and the popular kid.

Some have:

• gotten ahead because of their intellect and expertise (brain)

• relied on their performance and abilities (athlete)

• pressed against the norms and conventions (rebel)

• hid behind strangeness and being other (outcast)

• fit in by being cordial and easygoing (popular kid)

Now, our new hires from Charlottesville, Richmond, Staunton, Winchester, Martinsburg, Lynchburg, Rocky Mount, and Williamsburg have all collided with this shared experience, and the questions are:

• “Who will they choose to be?”

• “Will they leave feeling more connected?”

The lesson of The Breakfast Club is that neither of them was just the jock or the brain or the outcast, and so forth. The brain ends up smoking weed, the outcast ends up wanting to be normal, and the rebel ends up sacrificing for them all. They are not just one of them; they are, at times, all of them. It took detention to figure that out.

So, who will our new hires choose to be? Will they leave feeling more connected?

Questions That Speed Closeness

One of the activities I lead at the event is what I call, “Questions that speed closeness.” As reported by Charles Duhigg in his book, Supercommunicators, there was a group of psychologists who wondered if certain conversations consisting of certain questions can decrease the distance between strangers and friends, thereby quickening the time to closeness.

The psychologists conducted experiments where conversation partners tested hundreds of questions, and they ended with 36 questions that, compared with other questions, accelerated the connection process faster and better than others.

The key was asking questions that:

• elicited vulnerability

• caused an emotional reaction

• created bonding

In his book, Duhigg shares the 36 questions.

At the event, I hand each new hire a paper slip with three questions. I asked my team to help select the three questions from the 36, and we chose:

• Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

• Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

• What is your most treasured memory?

At the event, the new hires must pair up and converse about these questions for about 10 minutes. At first, they look around and think, “Do we really have to do this?” I imagine they’re thinking, “This feels like detention.”

But they get going, and soon the room is noisy with vulnerable and authentic conversation. I usually have to cut them off; the feedback surveys report this as a favorite activity.

In Closing

As I watch these new hires navigate this day, I remember my own shaky and uncertain start in the automotive industry just over a year ago. Now I can’t imagine being anywhere else because of the opportunities, connections, and fulfillment I’ve found.

I hope the same for them.

But as I look around, I can't help but wonder who will stay and who will go? Are we doing enough to create a workplace where they feel valued, connected, and inspired to stay? How will working at our company impact their life story?

I will continue to ponder these questions, and as I see them around the company, I will smile knowing they are not new hires anymore.

If you’re feeling nostalgic, here’s The Breakfast Club playlist:

*This post is my personal opinion and may not express the views of my employer.